Research Motivation

1. I am trying to learn about/study “cyberbullying”, which is bullying that takes place online.

2. I am trying to learn about/study “cyberbullying” because I want to find out when and how it started and why cyberbullying is so prominent in our society.

3. I am doing this in order to educate both parents and children about the dangers of the Internet and to prevent cyberbullying from taking place in the future.

Revision

Original

On the eve of my 16th birthday, I could barely sit still. In a mere few hours, I was going to embark on a whole new part of my life. I was going to learn how to drive. This birthday marked the beginning of the process to get my permit. Exactly one year later, I was excited beyond words. It was the eve of me getting my license. After a whole year of driving with stickler parents, I could almost taste the freedom I was about to possess. However a year after that, all excitement had gone out the window. On the eve of my 18th birthday, I couldn’t think of a single exciting freedom that this landmark age was about to give me. What did I have to look forward to, the ability to get arrested? No thank you. Had I lived in virtually any other country, I would have been able to go have a drink and celebrate with my friends. However the legal drinking age of 21 in the U.S. hindered this potential birthday celebration. I couldn’t help but question this law. If turning 18 made me eligible to do so many other things, why couldn’t I have a drink? Upon further thought, I came to a conclusion. The legal drinking age of 21 in the U.S. is unfair and should be lowered to 18.

Revised

On the eve of my 16th birthday, I could barely sit still. In a few hours, I was going to embark on a whole new part of my life. I was going to learn how to drive. This birthday marked the beginning of the process to get my permit. Exactly one year later, I was excited beyond words. It was the eve of me actually getting my license. After a whole year of driving with stickler parents, I could almost taste the freedom I was about to possess. However a year after that, all excitement had gone out the window. On the eve of my 18th birthday, I couldn’t think of a single exciting freedom that this landmark age was about to give me. What did I have to look forward to, the ability to get arrested? No thank you. Had I lived in virtually any other country, I would have been able to go have a drink and celebrate with my friends. Unfortunately, I live in the U.S. where the drinking age is 21. I couldn’t help but question this law. If turning 18 made me eligible to do so many other things, such as get a tattoo and live on my own, why couldn’t I have a drink? The legal drinking age of 21 in the U.S. is arbitrary and should be lowered to 18 because it is inconsistent with other laws, is not effective, and promotes dangerous drinking practices.

Religion Rules

I think that a good venue for my argument would be The Daily Collegian. This is because my argument, lowering the drinking age, is a topic that directly affects college students. I think that many Collegian readers would want to read an article about this. Therefore, upon getting this assignment, I decided to look in The Daily Collegian for an opinion piece.
I came across an article entitled “Preachers should show respect for others' beliefs” by Sam Kramer. This article discusses people, both on campus and off, pushing their religious beliefs on to other people. Examples used in this article include the Westboro Baptist Church, which is essentially a hate group, which protests things such as soldier’s funerals, and the Willard preacher. Kramer has an interesting take on this issue. While he completely supports the first amendment’s guarantee of freedom of speech, he feels that there is a difference between exercising this freedom and being rude. He says that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and views but they should not judge others for not believing in the same things, nor should they try to convert them.
Kramer’s piece is organized very well, with convincing arguments. He starts out with explaining the first amendment and showing his support for it. He then uses the example of the Westboro Baptist church and the Willard preacher to set up what he is going to be arguing. This shows the reader exactly what he is talking about. He then goes on to say that he feels people push their rights when they try to force their beliefs down other’s throats. Kramer uses the example of “the golden rule” and how it is applied in elementary school yet not in religion. He then gives another example involving the Westboro Baptist Church protesting a Foo Fighters concert, which is very effective. He ends with saying that while all people are entitled to their own beliefs, they should not try to convince others to share their viewpoints.
I completely agree with Kramer. I am not religious at all, yet it seems as though I can’t go a mere day without overhearing some conversation about Jesus or some other religious jargon. All I want to do is sit in the Hub and enjoy my book, but I have to listen to a conversation about the rapture? No thank you. Not only does it disturb my peace and quiet, it makes me very uncomfortable. This article especially hit home for me because the Westboro Baptist Church came to my school last year to “protest”. It caused quite a stir, with them holding up signs that read “God Hates Fags” and “Thank God for 9/11” right outside of my English classroom. I feel that religion should be a personal thing that can be discussed in private with friends, but not in a public setting. I also feel that people should not try to convert people to other beliefs.
I really liked the fact that Kramer used powerful examples such as the Westboro Baptist Church to show that his argument has substance. I also liked that he embraced the other side, freedom of speech, but said that a line needed to be drawn. I wasn’t crazy about his frequent use of one sentence paragraphs. In my own piece, I will try to incorporate effective examples like Kramer did. I will also maybe try to use a sarcastic tone, like the author did in the end about the rapture coming up. Overall, I thought this was a successful piece.

http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive/2011/09/28/preachers_should_show_respect_for_others_beliefs.aspx